changing jobs

ok, they turned me down for the airport security dog job.  no, seriously folks.   i sent my application in, with my picture and everything, and the suckers passed on me.   how and why would they say no?  is it because they dont know where i come from?  do they need to see the actual breeding take place, like some creepy pervert checking out dogs humping???

yes, i found out some nasty things about security dog mateship.  for one, they make you mate in front of persons. i mean, that's bloody embarrassing ok?  if i see my papillon down the street, there is no way, i'm going to "jump her bones" in front of men dressed in jeans.  does this look sexy? didn't think so.



and, you know, for all my jumping, barking and incessant growling, i do like to sleep alot, i mean, i like to SLEEP.  man, if i could sleep all day and pee right where i slept i would do that...i mean i wouldn't, 'cause i'd get in trouble with my person, but ....yeah, i would.

so, i think i'll suggest something to those folks up in homeland security...if you are looking for some doggy power, instead of buying those there german shepherd, why not look to the many shelters in cities, for some of them here pit bulls?  they seem a bit aggro, and they have big heads and bigger teeth, but come-on,  this is real!

instead of getting some gentile-bred german shepherd who is so pompous and inbred, they wouldn't know what real crack smelled like, let's get one of these dogs sniffing out the criminals.

and hey, if not, you can always call me up. i know how to bite the shit out of a stray toe...yes, i do.