spring time and dog parks

i'm sure i don't have to say this, but i am not a big fan of the dog park.  yeah, that's right.  the reason is simple.  there are dogs who go to there.  and they are big, and they like to run around, and it makes me very angry. 

ok, so the people who own these dogs sit around smiling while their dogs run around in circles, with other dogs chasing behind them.  these people think their dogs are having fun.  but the dumb dope who is in front, eyes bugged out, tongue slapping his face from left to right, well, he is not having fun.

he knows that the two bigger dogs behind him are chasing him, not playing with him.  he knows that if and when he stops running, they will jump on him, pin him to the ground, and bark 'i AM THE KING!' so he keeps running until he can't anymore,  and he collapses to the ground.  they jump on him,  and his person says"  oh, that's so cute!" , but what they are thinking is  "yes, he's going to be so tired when i get him home, he'll leave me alone'.  see, 'cause the dog park is not about dogs playing with each other, it's about domination.  it's not romping around, it's alpha dog sovereignty, and the biggest dog wins. 

Now, i am a big dog, in my head, so i want to play these games, but my person thinks i'll try to dominate and die.  so, we don't go.  until we do, today, and i know why - refer to the former post - bitting one's owner and such.

ANYWAY, she's determined to make me like other dogs, so here we are, beautiful day,  sun shining, dogs running in circles, being criminalized.   jazmine of course, gets taken off her leash and she immediately starts making friends, sniffing butts.  me, i'm still on the leash, and my person starts her speech, saying to the other people that i am "socially inept".  yes, she did.  and there is nothing i can do about it because of - yeah, former post - so, i have to suck it up, sit it down, and deal.

now , of course, the dogs can sense when their master-in-waiting is present, so all the wolves in command run over to me, their eyes glazed, wanting to get me into the game.  and i want to play, real bad.  but, not today.  i sit there, my eyes widened with a sincere fakeness that Marlon Brando would be proud of, and i let them sniff me,  i let them sniff my butt, lick my ears and walk behind me.

i do all this because my person will bring me back, and one day, she will take me off my leash.  and then i will be king.