It's another Saturday, but it's in NYC. There is a gift out there in the streets, and it's around every corner. That moment when you realize that you live in the greatest city in the world, and the only thing to do is to be with your friends. That's how it was on Saturday. The weather was on point, and in charge. Sun shining, slight wind, warm and toasty, and everyone wearing pale colors of pink, yellow, beige and smiles.
The day began at the Standard Hotel in the meat-packing district. Just a table of lovely ladies wishing one special one a happy birthday. the brunch menu was slowly reviewed, items chosen lightly and the dishes disappeared quickly. After what seemed like hours, the meal came to an end. then it was up to the roof to be rendered speechless by the decadent bar and lounge, with endless views of the hudson river - note to self - must come back at night in a black dress.
then it was down to the outside, and up the stairs to the high line, NYC's newest park. another aimless jaunt through deliberately-placed concrete blocks, careful to not get sandal heels caught in the spaces.
after talks and laughter, a float down the stairs and straight to 5th ave, for some window shopping, before heading to burlington coat factory for some real shopping.
At the end of the day, with the amber light fading behind the buildings, an early dinner, tibetan of course, spicy with just the right Sav Blanc to wash it down.
A final walk towards home, through the park and up the stairs, finally opening the door to see where we are.... remember us? your dogs... the dogs who were left behind in the hot, stifling apartment for hours while you enjoyed the first real day of spring - without us.
not cool, my person. not cool at all. i forgive you.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
hanging with the ladies
sunday nite was wonderful. my person's friends dropped by, and i was right in the middle of thangs. never got my belly scratched by so many lovely fingers.. nice! of course they started talking about me, how great i was, how funny.. then they got on my person's case for not giving jazmine a voice. they say this with me in the middle of them, and jazmine's sitting in the corner, ignoring all of us. what they don't understand is that jamine thinks this is all menial, beneath her.
see, i know how to milk a scene, im the Al Pacino of getting attention, i am the Terminator, the Morgan Freeman of act 1. i'm in the room, and you have to notice me, and i will do anything to make it happen. jazmine would get this is she even cared about it, and she does not.
i think they should do this every Sunday.. come over, drink lots of bubbly and scratch me belly all nite long.
think they are up for it? of course they are. could you say no to this belly? didn't think so.
see, i know how to milk a scene, im the Al Pacino of getting attention, i am the Terminator, the Morgan Freeman of act 1. i'm in the room, and you have to notice me, and i will do anything to make it happen. jazmine would get this is she even cared about it, and she does not.
i think they should do this every Sunday.. come over, drink lots of bubbly and scratch me belly all nite long.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
socialization
please, please don't bring me back to the dog park. i beg thee, i beseech thee. i hate the dog park. nothing good comes out from there. i am sorry i bit you, ok? but, please give me back my freedom. i am not allowed to bark at other dogs anymore. i have to sit in the prison yard (dog park) as bigger, meaner dogs come up to me (pouf poodle) and taunt and tease me. one of them called me a mommy dog (irish terrier) 'cause i'm on the leash. it would be like a child person showing up to school in a diaper. i cant take it anymore. i'm not allowed to bark at the squirrels, not even the one that was in the tree, showering dried leaves down at me. and everyone knows that it's ok to bark at squirrels because (say it with me), they are RATS WITH TAILS!! i'm not even allowed to bark at the piece of plastic being lifted by tiny gusts of wind, wielding it's way towards the chainlink fence.
my life has ended. my love of the bark has been forced into silence. my woe is plain and visible. i cant see the light anywhere, because im now lying under the covers. i mean, if i cant be me, what will i become? some old fart dog who sleeps all day? will my vocal chords shrink until my glorious bark that i have spent years perfecting becomes like the sound of a duck or one of those squeaky toys?
most importantly, will she love me again? must i become a dog with no character, no personality?
come on now, you know that's not me.
my life has ended. my love of the bark has been forced into silence. my woe is plain and visible. i cant see the light anywhere, because im now lying under the covers. i mean, if i cant be me, what will i become? some old fart dog who sleeps all day? will my vocal chords shrink until my glorious bark that i have spent years perfecting becomes like the sound of a duck or one of those squeaky toys?
most importantly, will she love me again? must i become a dog with no character, no personality?
come on now, you know that's not me.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
spring time and dog parks
ok, so the people who own these dogs sit around smiling while their dogs run around in circles, with other dogs chasing behind them. these people think their dogs are having fun. but the dumb dope who is in front, eyes bugged out, tongue slapping his face from left to right, well, he is not having fun.
he knows that the two bigger dogs behind him are chasing him, not playing with him. he knows that if and when he stops running, they will jump on him, pin him to the ground, and bark 'i AM THE KING!' so he keeps running until he can't anymore, and he collapses to the ground. they jump on him, and his person says" oh, that's so cute!" , but what they are thinking is "yes, he's going to be so tired when i get him home, he'll leave me alone'. see, 'cause the dog park is not about dogs playing with each other, it's about domination. it's not romping around, it's alpha dog sovereignty, and the biggest dog wins.
Now, i am a big dog, in my head, so i want to play these games, but my person thinks i'll try to dominate and die. so, we don't go. until we do, today, and i know why - refer to the former post - bitting one's owner and such.
ANYWAY, she's determined to make me like other dogs, so here we are, beautiful day, sun shining, dogs running in circles, being criminalized. jazmine of course, gets taken off her leash and she immediately starts making friends, sniffing butts. me, i'm still on the leash, and my person starts her speech, saying to the other people that i am "socially inept". yes, she did. and there is nothing i can do about it because of - yeah, former post - so, i have to suck it up, sit it down, and deal.
now , of course, the dogs can sense when their master-in-waiting is present, so all the wolves in command run over to me, their eyes glazed, wanting to get me into the game. and i want to play, real bad. but, not today. i sit there, my eyes widened with a sincere fakeness that Marlon Brando would be proud of, and i let them sniff me, i let them sniff my butt, lick my ears and walk behind me.
i do all this because my person will bring me back, and one day, she will take me off my leash. and then i will be king.
Friday, March 5, 2010
twenty four hours below bed level
well, i did it. i officially crossed the line from being cute and my usual KING sized self, and became the dog under the bed. and i know exactly how it happened. it was not a good day for me as brunello.
now, my person normally is bourne-stealth in watching out for other dogs, and ensuring that i dont go near them, and she may even have a faint smile on her face that tells me the barking and growling and jumping on my hind-legs with my tongue hanging out is kinda adorable. and yes i work that.
but this lovely morning, she was distracted by the phone or something, and we were close to home, and she didn't see the brownstone door open and her dog sense was a little off, so she didn't sixth-sense that there was a shaggy tail coming out of that door. i did. and as usual, first i see tail, then i see red. my brain grows with the rest of my body and suddenly i AM the creator, i AM the 150 pound German Shepard- Rottweiler and yes, i stood up and ATTACKED. luckily for me, there was something in the way that prevented me from going after that large dog who would have probably eaten me up in one bite. unluckily for me, the thing that was in the way? that little thing that blocked my possible death? yes, my person's calf. yeah, her lower calf? and see, i was seeing red so it didn't register when i bit down on it? ok, let me explain, i was going after the dog, and i was in another dimension, and wasn't thinking rationally and i bit my person, but only a little. it does not sound good even now. and it wasn't.
now, i have never seen my person get angry at me, but this time she gave me a look. and i knew my free life was about to change. 'no'. she said. 'sit' i sat. 'stay' i couldn't move even if i wanted to. i stayed for a lifetime. then she said 'go to the room'. and i ran right under the bed.
the day passed, and there was no, 'come here bru', no 'bru, bru, bru, bru, bru'. silence. oh, once in a while i'd hear a 'jazzie giiiirrlll', but that was it.
finally, it was time for the night-time stroll, and i felt like she had kinda forgiven me. i belly-crawled out from under the bed, slow walked up to her, and i gave her my best disney look. she finally smiled.
we walked to the store, and i didnt bark at the pouf poodle, didn't even pull on my leash. she looked down and said 'good bru!'. i was IN! then we opened the door to the store, and there was the cat. staring at me. and yes, i started shaking again and entered the crazy red zone, and i lunged at that cat, and there was something in front of me? and i looked up, and my person was looking at jazmine's leg. and yes, i had bitten her. slightly. a tiny scratch. i couldn't believe it. not again. i side-glanced up again, disney eye is full widened stare, but nope, it was not going to work this time. stiff walk home. no give on the leash. no sit, no stay, no treat (i can dream), and time alone under the bed.
i do have some brains though, i stayed there all nite. at least until she fell asleep.
now, my person normally is bourne-stealth in watching out for other dogs, and ensuring that i dont go near them, and she may even have a faint smile on her face that tells me the barking and growling and jumping on my hind-legs with my tongue hanging out is kinda adorable. and yes i work that.
but this lovely morning, she was distracted by the phone or something, and we were close to home, and she didn't see the brownstone door open and her dog sense was a little off, so she didn't sixth-sense that there was a shaggy tail coming out of that door. i did. and as usual, first i see tail, then i see red. my brain grows with the rest of my body and suddenly i AM the creator, i AM the 150 pound German Shepard- Rottweiler and yes, i stood up and ATTACKED. luckily for me, there was something in the way that prevented me from going after that large dog who would have probably eaten me up in one bite. unluckily for me, the thing that was in the way? that little thing that blocked my possible death? yes, my person's calf. yeah, her lower calf? and see, i was seeing red so it didn't register when i bit down on it? ok, let me explain, i was going after the dog, and i was in another dimension, and wasn't thinking rationally and i bit my person, but only a little. it does not sound good even now. and it wasn't.
now, i have never seen my person get angry at me, but this time she gave me a look. and i knew my free life was about to change. 'no'. she said. 'sit' i sat. 'stay' i couldn't move even if i wanted to. i stayed for a lifetime. then she said 'go to the room'. and i ran right under the bed.
the day passed, and there was no, 'come here bru', no 'bru, bru, bru, bru, bru'. silence. oh, once in a while i'd hear a 'jazzie giiiirrlll', but that was it.
finally, it was time for the night-time stroll, and i felt like she had kinda forgiven me. i belly-crawled out from under the bed, slow walked up to her, and i gave her my best disney look. she finally smiled.
we walked to the store, and i didnt bark at the pouf poodle, didn't even pull on my leash. she looked down and said 'good bru!'. i was IN! then we opened the door to the store, and there was the cat. staring at me. and yes, i started shaking again and entered the crazy red zone, and i lunged at that cat, and there was something in front of me? and i looked up, and my person was looking at jazmine's leg. and yes, i had bitten her. slightly. a tiny scratch. i couldn't believe it. not again. i side-glanced up again, disney eye is full widened stare, but nope, it was not going to work this time. stiff walk home. no give on the leash. no sit, no stay, no treat (i can dream), and time alone under the bed.
i do have some brains though, i stayed there all nite. at least until she fell asleep.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
she has to love me
so, i thought i'd talk about my girl jazmine. i mean, hey i am the MAN, i'm the one who has the charm, i'm the one who makes you laugh, and cry, and scream..let's not get crazy now. but, yes, she came before me, and she LOVES to remind me over and over ....and over again. so, i thought it was time to share her with you..my girl, jazmine.
now, she'll tell you that she is a classic yorkie, perfect in definition. yes, she came from a breeder, yes her mother and father were dogs of some wierd-ass names, pompous the pooch, and damsel-hurry-have-another-pup princess terrier..something like that. and, no, im not jealous, cause she got the blue-blood, i got the personality.
my person was pretty happy with her, even though it took her three months to get her trained to NOT pee on the carpet and the sofa and the bathroom rug. she learned slowly, those pure-bred in-bred crazies. so it was going well, but then, she also had a cat, and that's when the problems began. see, jazmine didn't know what a cat was, ya see?
so, she kinda thought the cat was a seriously interactive toy. every moment of the day, she wanted to see what was inside that furry toy-thing. no worries though, pixie had these things called claws. so every day, jazmine would run up to her and try to open her up, and every day, pixie would go 'ping!ping!stratch'.
my person couldn't take the battle anymore; lock pixie in the room - pixie starts to meow - jazmine barks at the door - person opens the door - jazmine charges - ping!ping! stratch!
so that's when the idea was born to get another dog.. but this time, my person started looking at rescue dogs, and that's when she found me. i arrived and immediately, pixie was left alone. jazmine had found something new.
she did NOT take to another dog being in her palace, at all. let me give you an idea, this is how jazmine looked before me:
now, she'll tell you that she is a classic yorkie, perfect in definition. yes, she came from a breeder, yes her mother and father were dogs of some wierd-ass names, pompous the pooch, and damsel-hurry-have-another-pup princess terrier..something like that. and, no, im not jealous, cause she got the blue-blood, i got the personality.
my person was pretty happy with her, even though it took her three months to get her trained to NOT pee on the carpet and the sofa and the bathroom rug. she learned slowly, those pure-bred in-bred crazies. so it was going well, but then, she also had a cat, and that's when the problems began. see, jazmine didn't know what a cat was, ya see?
so, she kinda thought the cat was a seriously interactive toy. every moment of the day, she wanted to see what was inside that furry toy-thing. no worries though, pixie had these things called claws. so every day, jazmine would run up to her and try to open her up, and every day, pixie would go 'ping!ping!stratch'.
my person couldn't take the battle anymore; lock pixie in the room - pixie starts to meow - jazmine barks at the door - person opens the door - jazmine charges - ping!ping! stratch!
so that's when the idea was born to get another dog.. but this time, my person started looking at rescue dogs, and that's when she found me. i arrived and immediately, pixie was left alone. jazmine had found something new.
she did NOT take to another dog being in her palace, at all. let me give you an idea, this is how jazmine looked before me:
see the bow, the calm eyes? yeah, she no look like that no more, check her out now:
she has been brunelloized!
oh come on, she loves me, she has to, what's there not to love? but we had some fights i tell you, epic battles of teeth and feet and water being thrown on us and screams of 'she's going to kill him!', and yes she started it. with every ounce of washed and blown-dried hair on her body, she would come after me like a killer on the move, and i'd lay there, and take it. just when i thought she'd never love me, one night she just came up to me, sat down and started licking my ear, because of course she would love me eventually, that's what i do.
so now, after many years,we play, and we kiss and we don't fight anymore. but you know i have to keep a dog-ear up, because just look into those eyes.
i wouldn't trust her completely, i mean, would you?
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