I hate poodles

ok, listen... i hate poodles.  i dont know why.  actually, i do.  they are arrogant, puffy dogs, with tennis balls on their feet and ears.  i don't get it.  they don't understand the simple word..."scrappy".  no, they don't. they walk around, with their perfect gardened puffs, looking down on every dog, their horse-like hoofs prancing around, ready to knock some unsuspecting dog in the head.

just look at the picture here.  those are not monsters from the muppet show.. they are actual dogs.  look at how they are smiling, while they look like edible candy.  this is very disrespectful to dogs everywhere.

you know, i am a yorkshire terrier.  i could walk about with long hair, and a freaking bow, but my owner would never let me go anywhere looking like a wind-up toy...do you know why?  say it everyone.....because i am a DOG!

rat hunter

do you know what my ancestors used to do in the past?  hunt down rats in sewers, ok?  like real dogs.  and i still do that sometimes.  come on now, we live in a old apartment in the village...you dont think a little mouse runs under the door sometimes, looking for left-over dog food?  of course they do, and when they sneak in, i'm there.... me and my teeth.. and yes, i play with them, and jump on them , and bite hard, and kill!

then, i leave the destroyed carcass right by the bathroom door, so my owner will see it and know that i was the protector of the house, and the rat/mouse was ratatouilled out!  i don't know why she doesn't like the presents, but hey...that's what i'll keep doing, and i'm not dyed in pink doing it!

ok poodle??  so the next time you see me on my block, with your perfectly coiffed balls hanging off your ears and neck and legs, dragging your stupid owner from one stop sign to the next, and i bark at you? i mean, when a real, albiet smaller version of a real dog calls you out.. instead of popping me in the head with your puff-hooves...turn around in shame and disgrace  and DEPART!

and that's what i'll say to you the next time i see you...ok puff-daddy?